On visibility...

...and why I'm turning off paid

Photo by Sneha Cecil on Unsplash

Making a living as a writer is hard. The way many writers present themselves to world makes it seem like they’ve made it. That they make a living from novels or plays and that all they do all day is write. The reality is not this, not by a long stretch. And it’s not the fault of writers. It’s an industry that makes us feel we have to be visible. To be on, making work, putting work out, promoting ourselves, reading our work, building income streams. We call ourselves writers but in reality we’re also baristas and academics and nurses and teachers and facilitators and gardeners and so much more. We look after homes and families and pay bills and wash dishes and forget to put the bins out. We chip out space in our everyday lives to make our work and then, after all this, we have to sell it.

I’ve been struggling with this lately, wrestling with how to build my career, stay in the spotlight, keep up momentum and write. Winning an award last year felt incredible, but nothing much has changed. I still need to write, to submit, be rejected, apply for funding, find work to support myself so I can write. And I’m exhausted. And I’m not writing. So something needs to change.

What we need, what we really need is support for artists. A Universal Basic Income would allow us to make work that matters and to do it without burning out. We need better funding models that allow us to work without having to tag on unnecessary schemes to tick boxes. We need secure relationships with agents and publishers and fair pay for our freelance work. All of this is a long way off. And I don’t know if it will ever happen.

I joined Substack when it looked like Twitter would collapse. I wanted to maintain the writing community I’d built, and to make sure I had a platform to share my work, my news. We’re told we need this as writers and the pressure to be a figure so we can sell work is real. The thing is, I don’t want to be a figure. I want to write, I want people to read it and enjoy it. Or not. And that’s it. It’s hard enough finding my way in the world as I discover more about myself.

I attended a workshop where we were encouraged to use Substack not just as a new community, but as an income stream. I liked it. And it does work for so many people and I think it’s a brilliant way to share your work. But for me, it’s become another pressure. A performance, another form of visibility that feels like me but not me. Something I have to do. Spending time writing posts when I really should be writing short stories and plays. But I do value the community I have here, and the way I can share my work and my life and my resources with other writers.

So to balance this out, to keep this community without giving away the creativity that I need for my own writing, I’m turning off paid. This just means all my posts going forward will be available for everyone to read. I won’t run online sessions and my posts might not be regular. But I’ll still post, when I have something to say that I think people might want or need to hear.

I love writing, the act of it. But I also want to be published, to have a book on shelves and plays on stage and words on radio and television. And to do this, I need to be real with myself and what I’m capable of and where I put my energy. It can be so hard to do this. To stay visible and disappear to make work. If you’re ever struggling, do what you would do with your work - ask questions. Who are you writing for? What can you fit in to your life…really? Where is your creative energy best spent?

Whatever your reasons for writing, and whatever you do to get there, remember to take care of yourself first. To do our best work, and to balance it with all the other demands we have on us, we need to look after ourselves.

Hope this all makes and sense and that you’ll stick around while I try to find a way to make this work,

Sarah x